PPPPFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. That was me spitting my midmorning margarita all over my keyboard. Joe Francis, in case anyone has (hopefully) forgotten, is that perv who started the whole 'Girls Gone Wild' campaign which basically destroyed the lives of hundreds of drunken college skanks who had no idea what they were getting into. You may recall when he was in a nightclub a few months ago and beat the living piss out of Playboy model Jayde Nicole. And because I can't resist a playback, go here to watch it.

Anytits, he's actualy suing her and boyfriend Brody Jenner because Jenner (rightfully) beat the living balls out of Francis. Perez attempts to report:

He's suing for battery, assault and negligence - as well as slander, libel and false light because he's claiming the couple lied after telling a cameraman about the incident immediately after it happened. Francis also says that he thought Jayde was going to kill him! He claims that after Jayde struck his head and poured her drink on him, she shouted "I'm going to kill you!" Apparently he was afraid she was going to make good on that threat and he pulled her hair in self-defense.

Lol. Oh, you silly douche. How is a 115 lbs. girl like that going to kill you? Punch you to death with her jugs? It's pretty common knowledge the only way Jayde Nicole could kill someone is with that nasty little case of the Syphy she's got going on. Silly rabbit, tricks are for...well I guess people who deserve to get some. Not you!

Posted by: Markie

Source: Perez

Image: PopOnthePop

Brody Jenner and his skank Playboy model girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, had a bit of a tiff last night with some douche. At a nightclub in LA, Joe Francis (who?) threw a little B.F. and the queen proceeded to beat the living fuck out of Jayde Nicole. The things I would do to witness are unimaginable. TMZ Reports:

"According to Jenner, he and his girlfriend, Jayde Nicole, were at the club celebrating his birthday, when Jayde saw Francis hitting on an ex-girlfriend of his (Francis'), Jenner says 'unrelentingly.' Jayde felt he was harassing the woman -- whom Jayde and Brody know -- and she threw a drink on Francis.
Jenner says Francis then pulled Jayde's hair punched her in the face and threw her to the ground and began kicking her. Security broke it up and Francis got dragged away -- Brody followed.
Jenner says he started yelling at Francis and both men were ejected from the club.
Outside the club, Jenner says he tried to get back in to see Jayde but security wouldn't let him. Jenner then saw Joe, punched him in the face, and then someone tased him and he fell to the ground."

So um, let me get this straight. Some dude decides it's okay to free the beast all over a Playboy bunny's face in an LA nightclub and nobody at the club does anything? To all of my hetero-male readers....all THREE OF YOU....if you saw a girl with awesome rockin' jugs like Jayde getting punched in the face, would you just stand there? I mean, WHY didn't anyone take pictures?!?! Brody got tasered? How am I supposed to enjoy this?! This is the guy who invented the term "Bromance" and scarred and entire culture with his toolness. And POOF....someone tasers him and we can't even watch. I am not sure if I believe something so awesome could happen and there are like only like 3 witnesses. It's like when Jesus came back to life and walked around that cave and made a sandwich or something and only a couple people could back it up. EXACTLY like that.

Posted By:  Markie

Images:  PETA/TMZ

Source:  TMZ