In the news of the “Are you seriously f*cking kidding me?!” it turns out that the whole balloon boy thing was a totally bogus hoax.   The parents said they did it to get notoriety and totally not because they’re horrible people who are using the idea of their child’s potential death to get famous.  Us Weekly reports:

Richard and Mayumi Heene will voluntarily turn themselves in if felony charges are pressed for an alleged hoax, in which they falsely claimed their 6-year-old son Falcon floated away in a homemade flying saucer last week, the family's attorney said late Sunday.  "I have instructed my client, 'Do not sit down with law enforcement and try and talk your way out of something. You don't know what you're dealing with,'" said lawyer David Lane, who also warned the Sheriff's office not to place the family in handcuffs because it would create more frenzy.

Now if I were legally allowed to get married and have babies (thanks again, California) I would be much more enraged by this.  However, since gay people are apparently destroying the fabric of America by merely existing (and scissoring), I can’t do this. But it’s TOTALLY okay for straight people to get married and pretend their child is dead to get a TV show.  That’s all-I’m-saying.  These people should have their kids taken away from them and be punched in the balls with a traffic cone.  Let’s not even talk about this anymore it’s irritating.  Let’s watch happy things. Here:

Posted By: Markie

Souce:  Us Weekly

Image:  Reuters/Rick Wiliking/Landov

I’m not going to say “I hate America” but...okay I do.  This being one of the primary reasons.  Balloon Boy’s family aka Mr. and Mrs. “Let’s-Jump-The-Gun” were apparently offered a reality show in the past and now they are talking about it...I mean, it’s not like they were rejected and now they’re pulling this shit leading us to believe that this whole thing was a publicity stunt to get shopped around. That would be crazy. US Weekly Reports:

The cable network that airs Jon and Kate Plus Eight passed on a reality show centered around the family -- currently making headlines over the short but frantic disappearance of Falcon, 6, after the accidental launch of a home-made helium balloon.  In a live interview with CNN this morning, Falcon said  "we did this for a show." His father later retorted to NBC's Meredith Viera, "I am not selling anything. I am not advertising anything."

I mean you have to admit it’s a pretty original idea.  A modern American family raising a bunch of Asian kids.  Two completely horrible parents that are probably going to get divorced.  Airing on TLC...

Wait....

Oh Balls.

Posted By:  Markie

Source: US Weekly

Image:  CNN