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Entries in Ashlee SImpson (4)

Friday
20Nov2009

Ashlee Simpson Eats Lunch...EVERYONE FREAK THE HELL OUT! 

OH...EM....FUCKING....GEE!  You'll totes never believe what happened this week.  Well you thought the drama was over when Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel got coffee in Vancouver.  Oh no, it's just begun!!!  This week Ashlee Simpson was spotted in New York  City....EATING SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  People (actually) reports:

It wouldn't be a New York visit without a visit to Dos Caminos for Ashlee Simpson-Wentz. The singer stopped by the Mexican restaurant's Park Avenue location for dinner with a female friend. The duo started with champagne and guacamole – then moved on to Patron margaritas and a shrimp quesadilla.

I don't really know what's creepier.  The fact that this is being reported or the idea of a pap with a telescope eyeballing what exactly they're ordering.  How do they know for sure it was shrimp?  Who spilled the beans?  It was one of the fucking shrimp wasn't it?  It crawled off the table and before hopping into Tara Reid's snatch ran over to a reporter and spilled the goods.  If anyone has seen the following culprit (or can smell Tara's vageen) please call 1-800-WEDON'THAVETIMEFORTHIS.  The suspect is believed to most likely have lost weight due to a highly toxic environment.

  "I tell lies!...and it really smells in Tara Reid"

Posted By: Markie

Source: People

Image:  Frillr

Monday
09Nov2009

Broadway Must Be High on 'Shrooms!

Broadway may be willing to take on a really great bad actress!! Since Meryl Streep was unavailable, they decided on the next best thing – Ashlee Simpson!! Yes, that’s right the Ass is possibly joining the Chicago cast!! But don’t worry theater junkies, Asslee has some experience!!! She performed as Roxie on the London stage for five whole weeks in 2006!!

Ashy told OK! Magazine about her experience:
It’s a lot of hard work and it’s a great, fantastic show and I would love to do it again.”

See!! She is sooo going to bring good "acting" to Broadway like she did on Melrose Place!!
Oh wait……

I really hope she knows, she can’t jig her way off the stage this time!! ;)

 

Posted by: Lady E

Source: OK! Magazine

Image: Celebuzz

Video: SNL

Thursday
29Oct2009

When Beer Pong Goes Wrong....

Now whenever Markie's drunk off his ass, he calls me and whispers sweet hetero nothings in my ear!! Sure it weirds me out when he appears in my bed an hour later and just grinds on my leg like a horny koala!! But he has NEVER tattooed my lovely face on his arm. NEVER!! I suppose he's not as wasted as Asslee's bitch, Pete Wentz, was last night!

Apparently Pete and his bros, Gabe Saporta and the Fallout Boy bassist, went out for some crazy beer ponging!! Normal typical straight guy shiet, right!? Not so much!! Well maybe the getting wasted part..I don't know about tattooing a dude's face on your leg!! Why..?! From the sound of it Pete lost a bet!! SUCCESS!?

Pete twatted:
"i was buzzed lightyear last night. followed thru on a gentlemens bet w/@gabrielsaporta now i have 1 more bad tattoo."

I’m sure Ashlee isn’t too happy about this!! I mean, her man got another dude’s face tattooed on his leg!! Where’s her fugly tattoo portrait!?!!! I guess she doesn’t want to jinx her marriage like Transylvania did!!

Good for you Assface!!! GOOD FOR YOU!!


Posted by: Lady E

Source: Twitter/E!

Image: E!

Friday
04Sep2009

Ashlee Simpson Looks like an Ass

The sad part of this look is that she had a stylist on hand to get dressed at the Pipeline Closet event. The gothic inspired outfit, severe red hair and lips, and to top it off the silver metallic Seven for Mankind jacket, all seems too heavy. Individually the pieces work, but thrown together for one whole look, she looks like one of those fashion victims in back on Elle Magazine where they block out the eyes and write the word "Don't". I don't like this Ashlee Simpson, I like the real nose, Pieces of Me Ashlee, the one before she was getting banged by Pete and was getting some from Ryan Cabrera. I still can't believe i bought his first album. I don't like her in general. If you've ever watched her do an interview she tends to giggle and laugh while she's having a normal conversation. She seems like one of those totally idiot silly girls.

Posted by: Joeyroc

Image: JustJared