This petite actress may have gotten her start on The O.C, but she’s about to become a star in my bedroom. I think for this scissor party, I’ll bring out the big guns - whipped cream, whips, cherries and my trusty camera. I think we need to start off with some major S&M time with our whips “just for show”. Maybe afterwards we can squirt some Cool Whip over our “welts”!! Cherry nips!? Why not and while we’re at it let’s add a prize for a sweet munchy surprise. YUMMYY!!

Safe Word: Fist

Posted by: Lady E

Image: Stock

The Golden Globes had a stream of winners tonight, but there was one LOSER that made this a memorable award night for..me!! The Best Male Actor in a Drama Motion Picture was announced and the winner for this category was Jeff Bridges!! Cool?! Umm, not so much!!

As usual the winner walked up the stage and the cameras focused on the losers, George Clooney, Tobey Maguire, etc! Sure he lost, but George was totally aloof and why shouldn't he be?! His girlfriend is fucking hot!!! Dude's so getting laid!! On the other hand, Spideytwat looked like he was ready to knock over Jeff and steal that award from his hands!!

Celebrity temper tantrum!? Aw, boo hoo!! I guess he should go full gay, play a tard or get better superhero powers in his next movie!! Because as far as I can see the only award he's going to get anytime soon is The Lady E 1st Annual Pussy Award for Best Male Vag Performance in an Award Show!! LMAO!!

Can't wait to see this hooha at the Oscars!!

Posted by: Lady E

Image: E!

I've 

Introducing today's scissor partner, Sofia Vergara. She's often called Sofia Viagra, which as you can see leads any guy girl to overdose on that magical little blue pill. I would love to roll some R's and have this hottie yell "Ay Mami"!! I know how these spanish girls are, they'll do you anywhere and anyway you want them!!! ;p A good hump on the kitchen table wouldn't be a bad way to get our engines started. Followed by a nice bootilicious slap on her assets while we enjoy a good tickle!! I'll leave the rest to your imagination...

One Word: Suckle

Posted by: Lady E

Image: Maxim

Huh?  You know like when you hear about that one show that used to be on when you were a kid and you’re all like “oh that was totally rad” and then someone breaks the news to you that the show didn’t actually die, it just got progressively worse, and evolved into something else (read: Power Rangers: Space and Time).  That’s basically what’s going on with Heidi Montag (except she was no “Power Rangers” to begin with).  She’s not making babies till she’s a pop star it seems. US Reports:

The world may have to wait for the patter of little Speidi feet: Heidi Montag says that her quest to have kids with husband Spencer Pratt is "kind of on hold" as she launches her campaign to become a "pop star" with her just-released album Superficial.

Well what a befitting name for your album if I do so say myself.  And yes, I will be the first to say when she says ‘pop star’ the only kind she’ll be is when her next set of fake yams decide to explode whenever she’s walking down the street in West Hollywood and falls on her husband’s failed career as a socialite that nobody wants to look at because his face looks like a pile of Shar Pei diarrhea.  Just sayin’

Posted By:  Markie

Source: US Weekly

Image:  Splash

NBC can't bully this fire-peepee!! Good!! This is what standing up to the man should be like. Funny, witty and awesome!! Despite pulling low ratings since taking over the Tonight Show, Conan is unwilling to let the execs at the peacock station have their way. What exactly is going on!? Chin boy needs the attention AGAIN!!! Which would mean pushing back the Tonight Show to tomorrow!!! Smart!? Conan doesn't think so!!

Conan released this GENIUS statement:
"People of Earth:
..So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn't matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more."

Conano stay strong!!

Posted by: Lady E

Source: The New York Times

Image: The Thorough Fair

Lemme see is a new Youtube video out starring Carolyn: Vh1's White Rapper, Soce: a gay jewish rapper, and one of one of the city's gay comedians, Shawn Hollenbach.  You know when you have a combination like that, basically anything equivelent in  awesome-status to Dino Riders will most likely ensue.  As you can see the video is basically about going on Adam4adam or Manhunt or Howsmywang (or whatever the kids are calling it these days) and showing off your peen for all eyes to see.  Now while we all may not take part in the jazzy-fun-fest-super-happy-bonerific-time, a large number of us do (cough:  JOEY ROC).  Well it's all in good fun and the best part really is when Shawn says "cray-cray".  Fantasti-balls.  Brava.  Gets our stamp of approval.  Now let's get Joey's picture up on one of these sites....

Posted By: Markie

Sorry for not posting yesterday you gossip-hungrrrray people.  Mama was busy working hard for the money.  And yes, the corner is warmer this time of year, they put out a heat lamp!  :-).  In recent news, I'm sure you've all heard about Tila Tequila and the death of her fiance, Casey Johnson.  The gremlin it appears has been getting a lot of media backlash from other blogs because she's basically been acting irrational and batshit crazy ever since it happened (which means she's NOT getting drunk and falling off chairs while stripping.)

Well it appears this week she's tweeted 160 times about it, according to US.  Which leaves me with one thing to basically think:  OTHER BLOGS NEED TO BACK THE FUCK OFF.  No for serious.  Her fiance died.  Like...she's dead. Really dead.  Is there actually a rational and sensible way to handle the situation?  Let the Ewok mourn.   I don't care if we find her on the lawn in the morning covered in maple syrup, let the girl be.  That actually sounds like fun...Be right back.

Posted By: Markie

Source: US Weekly

Image: New Line

One might say she's a tad bit skinny. I say, that's exactly how I expected her to look in a bikini. Rachel Zoe to me is of those fascinating creatures that only survive on carrot sticks and a little nose candy.

Ever since she showed the world the fire-breathing squid that lives between her legs in Basic Instinct, Sharon Stone still continues to believe it’s okay to basically to say whatever the fuck she wants about people who are seven billion times more talented than her.  In an interview this week she said some kind of narrrsty things about Meryl Streep (why?!).  US reports:

The always-outspoken Stone doesn't exactly quit while she's ahead discussing Streep, the multiple Oscar-winner and current star of the hit It's Complicated. She goes on to add, "Meryl looks like an unmade bed," Stone says.

She goes on to say that she also looks like an unmade bed but quite frankly, I don’t give a shit.  Meryl Streep is kind of like 9/11 or the Holocaust, in that it’s something that you really CANNOT make fun of, and should never touch lightly.  Sharon Stone, mind you, is also the bat shit crazy bitch who tried to convert to Buddhism and all the monks basically laughed in her face and told her to keep her day job:  flashin that rhino vag of hers.  She works hard for the money...so hard for it honey....

Posted By:  Markie

Source:  US Weekly

Image:   Credit: Soul Brother/FilmMagic; Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage.com

It's good to know Jennifer Lopez is making her comeback memorable. First, her camelicious performance and now she's gracing two magazine covers this month, Latina and ELLE. Of course, she couldn't come back without bitching about something!! What is she all pissy about this time?! Not receiving an Oscar nomination for her, craplicious, 2006 movie. I wonder if she realizes that the only people that deserved an Oscar were the makeup artists for El Cantante. Why?! WELL, DUH!! They did such a great job on her beast's husband's makeup!! Oh...wait...That's his FACE!? Dayum!!!!!

Jennifer bitched told Latina Magazine:
"It is a little bit frustrating. When the Oscars were on, I had just given birth on the 22nd, and the Oscars I think were a day or two later. I was sitting there with my twins — and I couldn't have been happier — but I was like 'How dope would it have been if I would've won the Oscar and been here in my hospital bed accepting the award?'"

That wasn't enough for this bitch since she even went as far as criticizing Angelina Jolie and saying she was a bad actress!! Obviously Angie didn't really earn her Oscar!! That's right Jenny shove Gigli, Monster-in-Law and Shall We Dance? in Angelina's face!! You DESERVE an Oscar!! Jolie has nothing on you girl....except of course a career.

It's okay, just "throw your Louboutins on" and rock that vaglicious catsuit!! J-Ho's Jolie's a losaaahhhh!!

Posted by: Lady E

Source: The Superficial

Images: Latina/Elle