For some reason this year I’ve had my share of brown haired goddesses, but I promise I’ll explore more horizons as the weeks go by. Today I’ve chosen a girl who I’d cheat on my boyfriend wife with. Always a fan of luscious lips, I thought this week’s scissorlicious hottie was the perfect candidate!! May I introduce, Rachel Bilson to our fantasies this afternoon!!

This petite actress may have gotten her start on The O.C, but she’s about to become a star in my bedroom. I think for this scissor party, I’ll bring out the big guns - whipped cream, whips, cherries and my trusty camera. I think we need to start off with some major S&M time with our whips “just for show”. Maybe afterwards we can squirt some Cool Whip over our “welts”!! Cherry nips!? Why not and while we’re at it let’s add a prize for a sweet munchy surprise. YUMMYY!!

Safe Word: Fist

Posted by: Lady E

Image: Stock

The Golden Globes had a stream of winners tonight, but there was one LOSER that made this a memorable award night for..me!! The Best Male Actor in a Drama Motion Picture was announced and the winner for this category was Jeff Bridges!! Cool?! Umm, not so much!!

As usual the winner walked up the stage and the cameras focused on the losers, George Clooney, Tobey Maguire, etc! Sure he lost, but George was totally aloof and why shouldn't he be?! His girlfriend is fucking hot!!! Dude's so getting laid!! On the other hand, Spideytwat looked like he was ready to knock over Jeff and steal that award from his hands!!

Celebrity temper tantrum!? Aw, boo hoo!! I guess he should go full gay, play a tard or get better superhero powers in his next movie!! Because as far as I can see the only award he's going to get anytime soon is The Lady E 1st Annual Pussy Award for Best Male Vag Performance in an Award Show!! LMAO!!

Can't wait to see this hooha at the Oscars!!

Posted by: Lady E

Image: E!

I've always been fascinated by the jiggly twins!! I spend most of my day staring at my own,while having a serious conversation with Markie. I know I am talented, thanks for noticing!! In fact, they're so amazing they even make a queen like Joeyroc wants to play the "titty twerk". So this week I thought I'd choose a pair of honkers that would make my own D's jealous!!

Introducing today's scissor partner, Sofia Vergara. She's often called Sofia Viagra, which as you can see leads any guy girl to overdose on that magical little blue pill. I would love to roll some R's and have this hottie yell "Ay Mami"!! I know how these spanish girls are, they'll do you anywhere and anyway you want them!!! ;p A good hump on the kitchen table wouldn't be a bad way to get our engines started. Followed by a nice bootilicious slap on her assets while we enjoy a good tickle!! I'll leave the rest to your imagination...

One Word: Suckle

Posted by: Lady E

Image: Maxim

NBC can't bully this fire-peepee!! Good!! This is what standing up to the man should be like. Funny, witty and awesome!! Despite pulling low ratings since taking over the Tonight Show, Conan is unwilling to let the execs at the peacock station have their way. What exactly is going on!? Chin boy needs the attention AGAIN!!! Which would mean pushing back the Tonight Show to tomorrow!!! Smart!? Conan doesn't think so!!

Conan released this GENIUS statement:
"People of Earth:
..So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn't matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more."

Conano stay strong!!

Posted by: Lady E

Source: The New York Times

Image: The Thorough Fair

It's good to know Jennifer Lopez is making her comeback memorable. First, her camelicious performance and now she's gracing two magazine covers this month, Latina and ELLE. Of course, she couldn't come back without bitching about something!! What is she all pissy about this time?! Not receiving an Oscar nomination for her, craplicious, 2006 movie. I wonder if she realizes that the only people that deserved an Oscar were the makeup artists for El Cantante. Why?! WELL, DUH!! They did such a great job on her beast's husband's makeup!! Oh...wait...That's his FACE!? Dayum!!!!!

Jennifer bitched told Latina Magazine:
"It is a little bit frustrating. When the Oscars were on, I had just given birth on the 22nd, and the Oscars I think were a day or two later. I was sitting there with my twins — and I couldn't have been happier — but I was like 'How dope would it have been if I would've won the Oscar and been here in my hospital bed accepting the award?'"

That wasn't enough for this bitch since she even went as far as criticizing Angelina Jolie and saying she was a bad actress!! Obviously Angie didn't really earn her Oscar!! That's right Jenny shove Gigli, Monster-in-Law and Shall We Dance? in Angelina's face!! You DESERVE an Oscar!! Jolie has nothing on you girl....except of course a career.

It's okay, just "throw your Louboutins on" and rock that vaglicious catsuit!! J-Ho's Jolie's a losaaahhhh!!

Posted by: Lady E

Source: The Superficial

Images: Latina/Elle

(BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ)
YES!! YES!! YES!!! It's time to start 2010 with some crazy strap-on dilds scissor fiestas!! Sure, Mr. Bunny and I have found ourselves some favorable scissor partners last year. But this year I plan on finding as many slit sisters as I possibly can, before I settle down with my future baby mama!! I wanna start this new year right and share my bed with this week's makeout worthy hottie, House's Olivia Wilde. That's right!! Coochie Cooch Baby!!!! Let's get it on girl!!!

I plan on making this tongue dance, since I tend to get the night munchies. After I hear a few prayerful odes, we should definitely give Mr. Bunny a call!! This buddy of mine always has the magic touch and makes any girl cry for more, believe me I know!! While Mr. Bunny does his job, I'll do mine. Nips are my specialty!! Just be prepared girl, I always nibble. I love biting when I hear some begging and pleading!!! So keep it up and maybe I'll add a slap to make things interesting!!

You're very welcome!!!!

Posted by: Lady E

Image: Stock

The last time we saw this douchebag he knocked over Taylor Swift and basically told her she sucked!! Well Kanye decided to redeem himself, during the Christmas holiday, at LA Mission feeding the homeless. He even got his girlfriend creature to help out!!

Luckily for us, Amber Rose even had time to do some "face" time for the new issue of Vibe Magazine!!! As fashionably "sexy" as a blonde toupee is, I kind of need my eyes - to like see!! It's bad enough I was subjected to the Kardashian Quick Trim ad a few hours ago, but this is just too much for a Wednesday afternoon!!

Why is she famous again?! Oh right, she's a stripper that makes Kanye look less "assholey".....
RIGHT!!!

Posted by: Lady E

Source: Pynk Celebrity

Images: Oh No They Didn't/Vogue Magazine